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January 03 I Have No Standards!It just dawned on me that I have no standards when it comes to relationships. I guess I need some...
Here goes nothing - lol...My Standards Are As Follows:
1. I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
2. I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
3. I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
4. I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
5. I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
6. I will not be with a man who is afraid to talk about our future.
7. I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
8. I will not date a man who is married.
9. I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person. It's All About AttitudeOkay, so the last few days have really brought me down. My birthday was all fucked up and my relationship with Jeremy has ended among other things. I've been having trouble keeping the gloomy clouds of depression away.
I thought that since things are starting to look up today, I'd write about it. This way I can refer back to it when I feel I have nothing worth fighting for.
I wanted nothing more than for my relationship with Jeremy to work. I put my all into that relationship, but he wasn't prepared to do the same - and that's okay. I still care very deeply about him and I'm sure I always will. We have decided that it's best if we remain friends, but now isn't the time for us to be in a relationship. I want to thank Gayle for helping me keep everything regarding Jeremy in perspective. Gayle, even though we hardly know eachother, I know you're on the level and you rock!
Nick called me at lunch time to act as a sounding board - Thank you for that. It truly means the world to me. I think I really needed to vent and hear how delusional I sound. Nick, you need to know that if it was anyone else saying what you said to me, I would've ripped a strip off of them - lol.
I made the mistake of listening to my mother when I first came home. She thought it would be good for me to take some time for myself and heal. She said I didn't have to work or anything - just relax and be good to myself. That was very kind of her, but I knew it was a mistake from the beginning. Now that I've spent so long without work, I have all the time in the world to obsess over everything that has gone wrong. I have nothing to occupy my time with and that's a great recipe for depression.
So on the up side, I passed my phone interview with EDS. I have to go in for my typing test on Monday, and I just know I'll nail it. I've always been the type of person that is so determined to do what I set out to do. I'll put my all into it and work on becoming a productive person once again. I've done it before, so there's no reason I can't do it again.
Feeling sorry for myself isn't getting me anywhere. Once I'm back to work and making money I know everything will get easier. When I have the ability to do what I want to and buy what I want to I'll regain my sense of independence. I guess that's enough ranting for now and I'm sure you all get the point.
Feel free to leave some words of encouragement...they help fuel the fire.
Much love to you all!
xo Jenn December 30 WTF?So I come to my computer to check my messages and this is what I get...
Crystal says: lmao telling everyone you are going to charge molly nice you fuck me over and your scared someone is going to do something about it you will never fucking change and i hope you fucking get yours and i will make sure you do ----------------------------- This came outta nowhere...like WTF? December 27 Like, Seriously?So my mother comes home from a Boxing Day dance and strolls on down to my bedroom. Mom had a few drinks of holiday cheer and was feeling pretty full of holiday spirit. She pushes the door open to find my boyfriend and I sleeping quite peacefully and innocently. She announces that she was now home for the remainder of the evening and starts rambling on about my boyfriend and I having sex. I was like "OMG, Mom, shut up and go to bed or something..." - THEN she starts going on about how we should be having sex and about how young we are.
I guess the point is that I never thought I'd be lectured about not having sex with my boyfriend...Priceless. December 22 I'm Worth $460.50 - How Much Are You Worth?The funniest part is there is only one item worth less than a dollar and everyone has had an amount and .50 cents!!!! We've all peed in the pool so don't even try to lie about that one!! Okay so here's the deal. you look it over and see how many of these things you have done, BUT you have to add up the money amount along the way, then post the amount that you are as the title of the bulletin such as "$15" or "I'm worth $78" or something like that. Smoked pot-- $10 Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before-- $20 Went skinny dipping-- $5 Had sex in a pool-- $20 Kissed someone of the same sex-- $10 Had sex with someone of the same sex $20 Cheated on your g/f or b/f -- $10 Cheated on your g/f or b/f with their relative or close friend--$20 done oral-- $5 got oral-- $5 done / got oral in a car while it was moving--$25 prank called the cops-- $5 Stole something-- $10 Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars--$20 Had sex with someone 10 years older-- $20 Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27--$25 Cried yourself to sleep-- $5 Cried during sex--$20 Been in love-- $25 Been in love with two people or more at the same time --$50 Said you love someone but didn't mean it-- $25 Went streaking-- $5 Went streaking in broad daylight --$15 Been arrested-- $5 Spent time in jail --$15 Peed in the pool-- $0.50 Played spin the bottle-- $5 Done something you regret-- $20 Had a crush on your best friend--$5 Had sex with your best friend --$20 Had a crush on someone at work --$5 Had sex with someone you work with at work --$25 Lied to your mate --$5 Lied to your mate about the sex being good --$25 DON'T FORGET TO REPOST WITH YOUR DOLLAR AMOUNT! November 30 Who Knew"Who Knew" You took my hand, You showed me how You promised me you'd be around Uh huh, That's right I took your words, And I believed In everything, You said to me Yeah huh, That's right If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong I know better Cause you said forever And ever Who knew Remember when we were such fools And so convinced and just too cool Oh no No no I wish I could touch you again I wish I could still call you friend I'd give anything When someone said count your blessings now 'fore they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong They knew better Still you said forever And ever Who knew Yeah yeah I'll keep you locked in my head Until we meet again Until we Until we meet again And I won't forget you my friend What happened If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong and That last kiss I'll cherish Until we meet again And time makes It harder I wish I could remember But I keep Your memory You visit me in my sleep My darling Who knew My darling My darling Who knew My darling I miss you My darling Who knew Who knew 15 PiercingsThat's right, folks! I now have 15 piercings...and 3 tattoos. I'm in Sydney now, so send some love! November 17 Not Ready To Make Nice...NOT READY TO MAKE NICE
Forgive, sounds good Forget, I’m not sure I could They say time heals everything But I’m still waiting I’m through with doubt There’s nothing left for me to figure out I’ve paid a price And I’ll keep paying I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back down I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could ‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should I know you said Can’t you just get over it It turned my whole world around And I kind of like it I made my bed and I sleep like a baby With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’ It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger And how in the world can the words that I said Send somebody so over the edge That they’d write me a letter Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing Or my life will be over I’m not ready to make nice I’m not ready to back down I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round It’s too late to make it right I probably wouldn’t if I could ‘Cause I’m mad as hell Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should September 21 19 Ways To Keep Her...1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. Erotic Fantasy & My PersonalityYou're an ideal match for being an adult film star!
Right, lights, camera, action! We get the impression that you're a confident person who likes to make the most of the assets in your life. This makes you an obvious match for some home film making. We're not suggesting that you need a cast of thousands, the obligatory moustache, or creative topiary for the nether regions. But we do think you'd see yourself in an entirely new light. Obviously this can be a daunting prospect. After all, there are some angles that nature just did not intend us to see, but there's no need to see it as a potential Blair Witch Project. If sex with your partner is fun, then it might be almost as much fun to watch yourselves afterwards. It may even tempt you into having seconds. Just be wary of your partner selling the footage to Internet sites – you could end up with a career in reality TV shows! September 05 What's the point, eh?I just love how people are so quick to criticize me and my decisions. I'd like to think I've made somewhat of an improvement. People are talking about how I had changed...Well, when a person gets tangled up in drugs and anorexia a personality change is bound to happen. For those who care to know, I've been clean for almost five months. I'm working hard at a job I love and I'm preparing to go back to school. I thought people would be proud of me once they heard that I finally decided to go back to school - I guess not. I'm never gonna stop loving certain people out there, even if they decide to put me down...you know who you are. Furthermore, I couldn't be more proud of you - and know in your heart that I do love you. July 30 Can't Help Falling In Love With YouWise men say only fools rush in But I cant help falling in love with you Shall I stay Would it be a sin If I cant help falling in love with you Like a river flows surely to the sea Darling so it goes Some things are meant to be Take my hand, take my whole life too For I cant help falling in love with you Like a river flows surely to the sea Darling so it goes Some things are meant to be Take my hand, take my whole life too For I cant help falling in love with you For I cant help falling in love with you July 01 RIPO'SULLIVAN, GregoryO'SULLIVAN, Gregory - 53, Halifax, died Friday, June 23, 2006. Born in Mancott, Wales, he was a son of Stella (Gaetrel) O'Sullivan and the late Thomas O' Sullivan. Greg was an employee of CTV for 29 years. He was a talented graphic artist and painter. He enjoyed music and was an avid reader. He is survived by his wife, Verna (Smith) O'Sullivan; stepdaughters, Sarah Calder, Toronto; Jennifer Bartlett, Antigonish; sister, Jacqueline (John) Wilt, Fredericton, N.B. He was predeceased by his first wife, the former Sharon Murphy. Cremation under the care of J. Albert Walker & Sons Funeral Home, 307 Prince Albert Rd., Dartmouth (469-5601). A celebration of life will be held Thursday at 11 a.m. in the funeral home chapel. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you do a good deed for someone or make a donation to a charity of your choice. On-line condolences may be made to the family by visiting: donaldkwalker@accesswave.com June 27 Wow..."Nothing Fails" I'm in love with you, you silly thing Anyone can see What is it with you, you silly thing Just take it from me It was not a chance meeting Feel my heart beating You're the one You could take all this, take it away I'd still have it all 'Cause I've climbed the tree of life And that is why, no longer scared if I fall When I get lost in space I can return to this place 'Cause, you're the one Nothing fails No more fears Nothing fails You washed away my tears Nothing fails No more fears Nothing fails Nothing fails I'm not religious But I feel so moved Makes me want to pray Pray you'll always be here I'm not religious But I feel such love Makes me want to pray When I get lost in space I can return to this place 'Cause you're the one I'm not religious But I feel so moved I'm not religious Makes me wanna pray I'm not religious But I feel so moved I'm not religious Makes me want to pray Nothing fails No more fears Nothing fails You washed away my tears Nothing fails No more fears Nothing fails June 24 FYI...For anyone who wishes to know...
Call my cell if you need me. I'll probably be hard to get in touch with. It goes like this...My mother's husband has passed away. I don't know exactly what this will mean for me, but it's a definite blow none the less. I'll likely have to go to Hailfax for the funeral and such. That and then there is the fact that I don't want my mother to be alone right now.
So if you are reading this you likely know my cell if you have to talk to me for anything. Hopefully, life will be back to normal soon.
- Jenn June 23 A Macabre Love Story
June 09 The 411I just wanted to take a moment to give everyone and update. Life is looking up. Working again...YAY! I'm currently working as a reservations agent for united airlines. Holy Jebus! Summa da effin' foolish calls I get...lol. Oh well, what can ya do, eh? For the most part my calls are good. It's always the bad ones that stick with ya and stand out in my mind though.
Apart from that, I dunno what to say. Bought some new clothes...got my hair cut...changed the colour of it too. Trying to get back to my natural colour...slowly...while having fun and being experimental with it.
Anyhow, I must go. Call my cell or e-mail at any time!
Much love to everyone! June 05 Meh...Have you ever found that sometimes things just will not go your way? I have been noticing that more and more lately...heh... May 21 James Blunt Is A God..."Goodbye My Lover" Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. [x2] Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer and when i wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. [x2] Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. |
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